Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Regardless, along with the booger came a sparkling new idea for an interesting post that you might want to plagiarize. Feel free.
What with the premenstrual weather patterns these day and Colombo reaching an all time low temparature and all that, I was contemplating on that popular Mayan notion of the end of the world peeking at us from around the corner and waving hello. Even the cynics amongst you have to admit that things are a looking a tad more interesting than pure coincidence, no? Floods, temperatures, droughts... I don't have to spell it out. Even though I think I just did. Oh well.
Anyhoo, that wasn't my point of this post. I'm not about to become yet another doomsday theorist. I was just pondering on the plight-to-be of the human race, should the planet decide on a massive spring cleaning session next year. (Not that it wouldn't be a good thing... we are the be all and end all of negative and useless life on the planet. I've always been of the thought that in order for the earth to have any joy, things need to start over and human existence needs to cease. The sooner the better. I am more than willing to wipe everyone off the face of the earth if Mother Nature wants the extra help.)
And so I wondered, as I dug deeper into the recesses of my nostrils in search of gold, what thoughts and achievements I as an individual would be leaving behind, should I die in 2012.
And that's how we now get on to the actual post of the day:
If I die in 2012, I will go....
...not having gotten the chance to move out and live on my own.
...hoping that only us humans die off and not every other form of life that actually matters
...happy in the knowledge that I saved a few deserving lives in my time.
...with the expectation of being reborn as a cat.
...without telling my parents what I really think.
...with no money to take with me.
...possibly having never cut my hair as short as I always wanted to, for fear of flogging.
...having experienced plenty of love and plenty of heartbreak.
...without having ever visited that psychiatrist.
...knowing I was right all along about 2012.
halfway through this post I suddenly wanted to also write down a bucket list. Thoughts of dying does that to you. Ok here goes...
Before I die, I want to...
- Open up an animal shelter.
- Get a tattoo
- Visit the Lourve on more time
- Move out
- Have 9 cats, named after the planets in the solar system. Yes, yes I KNOW they defamed Pluto but I'm still rooting for it.
- Master some supernatural trick and be famous for it. Mind reading or shit like that.
- Find my passion
- Experience a dramatic, off-the-charts romantic date
- Perform (act) to an international audience
- Be happy with myself
Ok I got a little snotty at the end there. time to dig the nose again. Au Revoir.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Raise your hand if you managed to catch a glimpse of Christmas speeding past you like the Starship Enterprise on turbo mode, leaving your innards vibrating with the aftershock.
The sheer fact that it HAS passed and I'm back to procrastinating behind an office desk after an all-too-short annual leave stint is nothing short of depressing. I see no light at the end of my tunnel. I mean that metaphorically and am not referring to my anus. That's a different post.
This post, on the other hand, is nothing but one big complaint. Leave now if you're feeling happy today. Should you choose the masochistic option of sticking around, don't say I didn't warn you and don't you dare comment with glib attempts at motivation. It's a Monday and I'm entitled to my grouchiness.
I'm not too pleased with the yesteryear, to be honest. It just wasn't speckled with the cheerful madness that my life is usually full of. Sure, there was plenty of travelling around and the odd puppy picked up and rehomed successfully, but seeing the humour in living just seemed such a task. 2010 did not, for once in my life, feature any JOY worth reminiscing about.
I blame my parents. They are Sri Lankan, after all. So am I, and blaming parents is what we children of the soil do best when things are not satisfactory. Although, come to think of it, no one seems to be pointing any fingers at Mommy and Daddy Rajapakse, no? (I have a feeling Mervin's mum is thought about alot, however...).
My two were exceptionally active with the emotional blackmail last year. To say I’m going on 32 and need approval on how my hair looks is a testament to their insanity. Their skills have reached new levels in expertise and absurdity. Mother Dearest has mastered the Quivering Lower Lip to a tee and can now whip it out at the merest 'ahem'. Dad's speciality- Delusional Rants - peaked during the Christmas season and nearly drove me to homicide.
Yes, we're a nice, quiet little family, we are. So quiet, in fact, that when we dine out together you can hear the chef’s hat pin drop into the soup, way back in the kitchens.
If my family is ever at the same restaurant as you, do check your soup for signs of dropped pin.
My resident evil aside, not everything in 2010 has been a complete disaster. I did manage to rescue and rehome 24 furry four-leggeds (I can see RD sniggering at that one), visit two new countries and learn to bake a decent cupcake. The cons outweighed, though. The least of which was my car and I careening into a wall and causing both airbags to pop out. Ah, good times.
I suppose I must now join the merry bandwagon and do my bit of resolutioning, no? Not that it makes a difference. Last year’s list is still waiting. But for what it’s worth, this year, I PLAN to-
- Find my runaway mojo
- Change jobs – by workplace or career, whichever seems more lucrative and comes first
- Outperform last year’s animal rescue stats
- Move out of home
- Get a tattoo – because really, it’s the fashionable way to rebel, innit?
- Write a book
- See a new country
- Learn to cook 10 new dishes and achieve non-toxic rating for at least one of them
Watch this space.