Thursday, January 13, 2011

We're Gonna Die.

Given that I've earned myself (through sheer hard non-work) a reputation for being elusive, I wasn't planning on blogging for some time. I like it when I make you yearn for me and then surprise you. Like a wife of 40 years who's lost some weight and discovered Victoria's Secret. However, as all unplanned things go, inspiration struck whilst digging my nose in a parked car, waiting for my boyfriend to come out of a Time Management seminar. He was half an hour late, which I think defeats the purpose.

Regardless, along with the booger came a sparkling new idea for an interesting post that you might want to plagiarize. Feel free.

What with the premenstrual weather patterns these day and Colombo reaching an all time low temparature and all that, I was contemplating on that popular Mayan notion of the end of the world peeking at us from around the corner and waving hello. Even the cynics amongst you have to admit that things are a looking a tad more interesting than pure coincidence, no? Floods, temperatures, droughts... I don't have to spell it out. Even though I think I just did. Oh well.

Anyhoo, that wasn't my point of this post. I'm not about to become yet another doomsday theorist. I was just pondering on the plight-to-be of the human race, should the planet decide on a massive spring cleaning session next year. (Not that it wouldn't be a good thing... we are the be all and end all of negative and useless life on the planet. I've always been of the thought that in order for the earth to have any joy, things need to start over and human existence needs to cease. The sooner the better. I am more than willing to wipe everyone off the face of the earth if Mother Nature wants the extra help.)

And so I wondered, as I dug deeper into the recesses of my nostrils in search of gold, what thoughts and achievements I as an individual would be leaving behind, should I die in 2012.

And that's how we now get on to the actual post of the day:

If I die in 2012, I will go....

...not having gotten the chance to move out and live on my own.
...hoping that only us humans die off and not every other form of life that actually matters
...happy in the knowledge that I saved a few deserving lives in my time.
...with the expectation of being reborn as a cat.
...without telling my parents what I really think.
...with no money to take with me.
...possibly having never cut my hair as short as I always wanted to, for fear of flogging.
...having experienced plenty of love and plenty of heartbreak.
...without having ever visited that psychiatrist.
...knowing I was right all along about 2012.

halfway through this post I suddenly wanted to also write down a bucket list. Thoughts of dying does that to you. Ok here goes...

Before I die, I want to...

  • Open up an animal shelter.
  • Get a tattoo
  • Visit the Lourve on more time
  • Move out
  • Have 9 cats, named after the planets in the solar system. Yes, yes I KNOW they defamed Pluto but I'm still rooting for it.
  • Master some supernatural trick and be famous for it. Mind reading or shit like that.
  • Find my passion
  • Experience a dramatic, off-the-charts romantic date
  • Perform (act) to an international audience
  • Be happy with myself

Ok I got a little snotty at the end there. time to dig the nose again. Au Revoir.


cj said...

So finally I have read a booger post! Thank you for the entertainment and please know that I yearn to read more of your writing the moment I finish reading whatever is current.

Chavie said...

You should dig your nose more often! :D

But seriously, weather patterns have been messed up. :/