Baby's First Day

AAAARGHH!! I'm starting to shit bricks now. Hey themissingsandwich, if you're reading this, I hear ya, babe. I'm going through exactly the same mental motions and it's freaking me out.

D day is here... I'm starting work at the new place tomorrow, and it's come around way too fast for comfort. I was just starting to settle down into my 'pre-new job' leave, and before you know it, it's time to start waking up early again.

A million... no.. zillion things have addled my mind today. (Well... just a few things, actually, but a zillion sounds much more dramatic and apt for an interesting read, don't you think?)
What if I hate it? What if they hate me? What if I screw up on my first day? What if I don't belong there? Will I be happy? Will leaving my previous job/life be worth it? Will I like being under someone's control? Can I manage to get through 6 months of probation? Did I make the right decision when taking this job? What if I made a mistake? What do I wear? What do I say? Will I get my period as a result of all this self-induced stress?

I can't stop feeling paranoid about this. It's been four years since I last started a new job... I'm out of my comfort zone here and am feeling far too vulnerable for my liking. What if I don't make a good first impression on these people? I don't know them... they might eat me alive. They weren't a very friendly looking bunch, the last time I saw them.

I took at least a good three hours deciding what to wear, and settled on a fairly smart pant-and-shirt combo. Not too creative and not overdressed either. I wouldn't want to look desperate to please (although I am, but they don't have to know that), so I'm keeping it simple.
Since this is kinda sorta a new journey in life that I'm starting tomorrow, I figured I'd also try the whole 'something old, something new' crap that brides do, for superstition's sake. A new pair of pants for luck, old earrings, a book for the 'something borrowed', and my mood to round off the 'something blue'. I'm also taking the comfort of friends along with me, to keep me psychologically secure throughout the day. A necklace from BF, a lilac (my favourite colour) shirt from my good galpal Dil, a bracelet from an office teammate and my mom's hairclip.

I don't want tomorrow to come.... wah... but I guess I have to face it. I'm gonna either make it, or break it with this new job, and I HATE not knowing which end result it's gonna be.

Gah. Argh.

Here goes nothing.